bone to pick

is what i typed into the subject line in order let three thousand know i want to win a copy of super wild horse's album because i love them and i really want it. i was grappling with myself about going to rats to see fearless vampire killers because it has been ages but i hate rats on account of a previous experience which i think i blogged about once, but possibly not. but basically it featured my friend getting mistaken for a trouble maker [he was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time] which resulted in him wrongly being dragged out of a mosh pit by his hair, then picked up in a bear hug and swung away from the crowd, resulting in him need 12 stitches in his head due to it colliding with a wall with brute, bouncer fueled force. and as much as i love fearless vampire killers, i don't think i like them enough to go against my morals and venture out to rats. but i did take that night off work remembering something else was on, and it is, the super wild horses album launch is on, so i will probably go to that.
i have a little song on my mind and if you sing it carly simon style it'll be quite nice to the mind tank.
you're so vain, you probably think this post is about you you're so lame, you probably think this post is about you don't you don't you?
you walk into a party, like you are walking onto a yacht, but i wouldn't really know this cos i wasn't invited to the party. but i heard it from my boy friend, who you don't know at all, but you just think you can txt him, think you can see him but... you're so lame, and he's too smart to even go for it. etc
yes, bragger again. they're moving soon and i think as soon as they're gone i will just delete delete delete so i don't have every little detail of their life popping up every time i log into facebook. i don't see how someone who spends so much time status updating can actually have anything to status update about because they clearly spend all of their time on their computer or phone.
not long now though because i herd they found a place so i won't have to suffer through the odd bump into, and i won't cross paths with said person on account of none of our mutual friends actual liking them either. phew.
i'm just a little sick of us having moved on from high school and still being is high school mode. that was one of the things i was most excited about when i finally graduated, escaping the pettiness. but it's still going on. ridic.
anyway. today i finished my office volunteering position at MIFF. frown. i had such a good two works and when i left every one was shouting out "just let us know when you want a job" and i said "i'd love a job now", so let's see how that goes. working for MIFF would be awesome.
yesterday a camera man came in to film some scenes of L. A. Zombie because it's been banned and obviously copies can't be given out, and he was filming quite a bit, so i watched, and i have to say, edward d. wood would be rolling in his grave over the decision to ban said film. the cult success of films such as wood's Plan 9 From Outer Space and tommy wiseau's The Room, which may not have been purposely terrible but are loved for their shlock value has inspired a whole generation of filmmakers who push the boundaries of taste and quality and make good films we love because of how bad they are. L. A. Zombie is purposely bad, looks incredibly fake and is made for a particular audience. it is an art film, it is not made to be put on at hoyts for a general audience. it is made to be screened at film festival's and enjoyed by crazy people like me. the australian classification board should be banned before they deport marina abramovic for indecent exposure...
anyway. i just saw an ad featuring a weirdly animated image of betty white gyrating awkwardly. i need to go and be sick about the fact that channel nine are allowed to do that.

anniversary, ruined

so, the story goes that after months of adoring and lusting after my friends friend from high school, who you would know as "the boy", we both had tickets to the same MIFF film and no-one to go with, so we went together. that was our first date, awkwardly sitting in the dark at the capitol theatre watching gay german zombies fornicate through any hole available, be it wound or otherwise as otto, the zombie with an identity crisis made his way through the german gay scene, mistaken for a method actor and put into a gay zombie porno, complete with epic zombie orgy with intestines and the likes while a lesbian filmmaker and her silent film actress girlfriend looked on, camera in hand. Otto; or, up with dead people, was a gratuitous kitsch romp, part porn, part comedy, part zombie apocalypse thriller, and all fun. after joining on such solid foundations, the boy and i are still together, 2 years down the track, and while reading this years MIFF program guide and realising that, being the second film of a late night double feature Bruce LaBruce's latest offering, L. A. Zombie, would be screening on our anniversary, we leapt at the opportunity to relive our humble beginnings at 1am on the morning of our 2 year anniversary and bought tickets at 9am the morning they went on sale.
but now it seems the classification board think our penchant for necrophilia and wound penetrating goodness is somehow inappropriate. donald mcdonald you nancy, we are under no illusions about the film, in the program guide under the program title "night shift", this is how L. A. Zombie is described:

The creator of Otto; Or, Up With Dead People (MIFF 08) extends his adventures in cinema's most unmarketable sub-genre - gay zombie porn.

Zombies don’t often come as fully-ripped as porn star François Sagat – except in Bruce LaBruce’s L.A. Zombie. Our anti-hero is convinced he’s an alien zombie sent to earth, where he roams the streets of Los Angeles in search of dead bodies and gay sex – an activity that reveals his ‘special gift’ of shagging the deceased back to life.

Conceived as a more hardcore companion piece to Otto, and featuring minimal dialogue but maximum soundtrack, L.A. Zombie raises the stakes with LaBruce’s infamous ‘schlock’ tactics – promising plenty of wound-shagging and more penises than you can shake a stick at.

Contains scenes that will offend.

with a right up like that you would expect a very select group of people to be purchasing tickets. if i wanted to see something lovey dovey and innocent i would have consulted the Next Gen program, but being the lover of trash and gore that I am, I opt for more alternative film viewing experiences. gory films i have trouble watching include documentaries featuring the mass slaughter of animals, such as food inc. or people such as war doco's and films about events such as the jonestown massacre. real violence that is not glorified or obviously completely fake. zombie violence i am fine with, dramatisations, no matter how visual, fine, but real violence makes me sick. we're a mature, progressive civilisation and we are smart enough as a viewing public to sense the difference between real and imagined, between entertainment and depravity.

Donald McDonald you rat, do you not understand the concept of the film festival as a space of freedom and expression, where films of all genres, sub-genre's, styles, countries and classifications are screened to an audience seeking a higher level of entertainment than the cheap [well expensive, but the value of the films is of an unspeakably low standard] hollywood tripe that rolls through the cinema's week after week to an audience of low level functioning twats and senior citizens, we have come to expect some genital mutilation, corpse violation and nazi zombie apocalypse's.

I am pretty much going to spend all my free time now trying to find the twitter [yes, i am going to go onto twitter for the first time ever] and facebook groups rallying to overturn the ban because it is ruining my perfect, depraved anniversary.

DAMN YOU OFLC!