biting my nails

it has been almost a week since applications on the job i applied for and desperately want closed [well in two days it will be] and i still haven't heard. i have been chronically checking my emails and my phone for missed calls and i look like one of those desperates who went on a first date for the first time in a very long time and haven't heard back yet and are starting to think the guy was a dick and should have just lemon lawed you to save you from suffering, or someone permanently on a blind date wondering whether or not they've been stood up and trying to save face by checking their phone and thinking of excuses.
anyway, i'm going a little crazy and i can't wait for one of two things to happen. 1) i get an email/call asking me to come in for an interview and apoloigising for the delay in letting me know but they were on the phone to my referee's for ages because they both think i'm wonderful and i shouldn't even bother coming in for an interview because they already feel like they know me and therefore know that i would be perfect for the job. or 2) it becomes a week since the applications close and i can call up and ask without looking like a desperate doofus.
i really hope i hear soon, i just checked again, still nothing. gosh darn it, i really want to hear soon, i want this job more than anything in the world right now. well, a million dollars would be nice, but other than that...
i'm going to go and check again, and snoop around the site.

got the cold weather blues

seriously rain, it's spring, go away.
last night i worked early which meant i got to leave early. this made me very happy because the boy wasn't working at all because his band had a gig and that meant that we had an early night. i have missed my sleep. but i was so excited about getting home at a reasonable hour and curling up into bed that i completely flaked on the whole super wild horses last show before going to the US and i didn't go. my friday night wasn't completely band free though because howl had a secret show in acdc lane at 5, which was before i started work and meant that i was able to go. it was pretty good. short, way way way too short, but it was nice to see them again. it certainly has been a long time. and an even longer time since i saw them stone cold sober. the last couple of times were after a few stints on the bottle, and by that i mean i drank a whole bottle of wine by myself before getting on the train to go and see them. it was fun though but i am in no way condoning this kind of behaviour. i can handle my liquor in that i pretty much become uber me, dancing and singing and what have you, but i never throw up and i never pass out.
i have thrown up twice when alcohol was involved. once was because of some really really really bad food that i shouldn't have eaten but i'd already had a little vino and i didn't even think about how long those vegetables had been in my freezer and how often my freezer had over heated and gone off in that amount of time and i was so sick from said food that i was vomiting all the next day over water and simply moving, until i had some barocca and got a little better. the other time was at golden plains last year and i had had a bottle of wine and about 5 wacky tabacky ciggies over the course of the day and i think it was more a result of the latter as i have had way more wine in a far shorter span of time than that and been right as rain.
so anyway, enough of that. i really just wanted to share a picture of my old babies rocking out on the wheelie bins in acdc lane.

got the mid semester break blues

this week we have no classes at rmit, so we can catch up and get assignments done and such. i am currently in my animation class room struggling with istopmotion. this program really gives me the shits. it's so temperamental. go to hell istopmotion. anyway, i have found that, since i started my new job at an establishment which shall remain nameless for fear of being hunted down and snuffed in the middle of the night, that i have spent most of this week catching up on the sleep i miss during the weekend because my shifts are ridiculous and don't allow for much body clock adjustment, and running around after unreliable friends. seriously, dude, answer your phone, it's free. and fyi, two hours is not enough notice to give someone to meet you for dinner, particularly when said person is at uni and therefore spends a lot of time in Melbourne, and you live in melton. and when said person has a life of their own, believe it or not, and is sick of dropping everything when they hear from you for the first time in a year.
anyway, enough of that. i have applied for a job at acmi, one of my favouritest places in the whole wide world. if you knew me you'd know that to be a completely true statement as i'm pretty much there in screen worlds all the time, playing mario kart on wii or watching the short films made by school kids across the state. thems some comfy beanbags. that's why i make it my meeting place. close to flinders and comfy to wait in if the person you are meeting is running late, which is most of the time. the job is in the office and it's half days monday - friday, a decent wage, in the city and being half days is also flexible enough for a second job, comfortably. fingers and toes crossed because i really want this job.
in other news my lovely coffee buddy went for a job last week as an apprentice dental technician and she's such a genius that she got the job. i'm super duper excited for her. so if anybody out there needs some fake teeth made up from january 3rd onward, i know a girl. i had an inkling when she said she had good news, but it's always so exciting to hear stuff like that first hand. if i get this job then i am going to have three solid weeks of coffee dates letting everyone know before you hear about it. or i might crack and facebook the crap out of it. probably not though. i don't like to brag. lol.
my mums wakakirri team got into the final, the fancy final for all the best schools. i'm so excited. the music i put together for it won a gold award. go me. i'm three for three for my lighting and music for wakakirri's and rock eisteddfod's. maybe i should do that for a living. oh but wait, i can't, because the stupid government won't fund rock eisteddfod anymore and now a whole bunch of really great performing arts teachers are out of the job and a huge amount of australia's youth are down a great school experience and will have no good memories of their time at school. if one of the parties was smart they could have got themselves a lot of young voters on board if they promised to pledge $100,000 to the rock eisteddfod organisation a year to keep it going. yep, you heard right, that's all it costs and the government won't fund it. how stupid. fudge getting rid of australia's debt. every country in the world is in debt, we don't care about the debt. not a priority. also, seriously, you think you can stop the boats? other countries are always going to be shit, what with their wars and child prostitution rings and slavery. you will never stop the boats, so stop focusing on that and start bringing back rock eisteddfod. just fix the little things and make us all happy. obviously it's not as simple as this but i am still really angry about the election campaign. it was so pathetic and didn't speak to me at all. politician's are so far removed from real people that they have no idea how to woo us. this is clearly evidenced by the fact that so many new south walshmen and queenslanders voted for tony abbott. what is the world coming too.
i love looking on the sartorialist for fashion inspiration. i have so many ideas running through my head for when i get my sewing machine for my birthday. yesterday i went to my nana's to continue making my birthday dress. it is almost done and i am very excited. it's starting to look really good and i can't wait.
the other day at the boy's house we were looking at nerdy stuff on the net and came across a video of steven moffat talking about the next season of doctor who and how he wants to split it into two seasons so that their are two first episodes and two huge climaxes and there will never be more than a couple of months between seasons. i think this is genius. i'm am really missing doctor who and cannot wait for the christmas episode. but one episode isn't enough, i need more. hopefully all seasons will stay this way so that we can watch doctor who year round. so long as we can buy them together. i mean $95 is already too much to be spending on a season, but if it'll still cost that much with them half as long, i will not be happy. next season looks good though with guest writer's including neil gaiman and that guy who wrote being human. gah, i'm salivating already.

got the post election blues.

considering adam bandt won his seat you'd think i'd be a lot happier, but what is with all these freakin' nut jobs up in queensland and new south wales actually wanting tony abbott as our prime minister. wtf has never been more appropriately used. i am literally lost for words. what kind of people do liberal stand up for? not the average person. he says he is but he has no idea. "i have a wife and children so i know what it's like to be part of an australian family". not the average family pension man, or did you forget that your wages are being paid by the average persons real work? you reckon you're going to learn economic lessons from australian families and pay back the debt. excuse me mr rabbit, but if you'd done your research you'd realise that in comparison to income the average australian family is 100 times more in debt that the government. and did you not realise that pretty much ever government in the world is is debt so someone, the only ones that aren't are the countries with corrupt dictators who pocket everything and let their people rot. is this the kind of australia you plan to create? and seriously, could people above the murray grow a brain and realise that the whole k-rudd thing wasn't the only political backstabbing in recent years. does anyone remember what peter costello was before he became the only sane liberal voice in australia? that's right, he was deputy prime minister. and we all thought he was going to be our next prime minister. as treasurer he proved himself as a level headed politician, steering our nation through the first major economic crisis in the 90s, which was nowhere near as severe as our recent one, but still note worthy, and he kept our economy powerful with the aussie dollar rising against the buck steadily throughout the 90s and beyond, and he was promised time and time again by howard when he retired that he'd take over the party. but instead of standing down for costello to take on k-rudd in the 07 election he stayed on and got his arse handed to him in the process. back stabbing example in liberal head quarters example number one. and mr rabbit, you go on about julia's betrayal, but you yourself have been in the process of booting malcolm turnbull since he was heading you up.
if he gets elected as pm i'm defecting.

Anniversary

yesterday marked the day that the boy and i first went on a date, two years since we both had tickets for Otto; Or Up With Dead People at the melbourne international film festival, and what an anniversary we had. it started early in the morning with a lovely trip to gold class at crown where we enjoyed indulgent lamb kebab skewers and grilled eggplant, the best coffee i've had in a while, best g&t and fruit tingles also, and one of the best movies i have seen in a long time. i know it's crazy it took us this long to see inception, but after our first gold class experience we said we'd go to gold class for our anniversary and when we looked at film release dates at the start of the year, inception was the best one going to be on, so that's what we settled on. for the record, film critics, thanks for under selling the intelligence of the movie going public. hard to follow my arse. how did you get to be a film critic if you're so stupid you couldn't follow nolan's genius? go back to film school buddy.
i don't think i can say anything about it without giving anything away, so i shall probably just leave it at this, it was thrilling, thought provoking, visually stunning, exciting, and just plain brilliant. go see it now.
then we went to the festival lounge, squeezed into a cute little wicker chair and had some champagne (well i had champagne, the boy had beer) and we had a little shnuggle. then we went to the toff to get out yearly dose of the best but most expensive lamb chops of all time (they're probably not, but we're students so we can't afford that all the time) and some chicken skewers. and of course another drink. then we went to max brennar to get chocolate because coco black was closed. then we went to queue up and see SCOTT PILGRIM VS. THE WORLD and it was THE BEST MOVIE OF ALL TIME. well, it was pretty good anyway. michael cera was so placid (as he always is) and cute, but also a bit of a bad ass. the action was incredible, the video game aesthetics were hilarius, the sound track was great, the gags were unbelievably hilarius. film of the festival basically, i love love loved it. and i think perhaps i'll go see it again next week.
the rest of the day i'll keep to myself. we have to have some of our own little jokes and stories.

it wasn't you

high school related to high school as in someone i went to high school with who lives in the marsh, has just stopped working at the same work as me and is finally leaving to move on to greener pastures. and i'm sorry but i don't appreciate your double standards because forgive me for bringing it up but don't you do the same thing on a particular blog about a particular room mate.
what i write about the bragger is between me and a couple of lovely girls i have coffee and parties [last night was fun guys. drunk conversations about codys' and nicks' on the laundry floor is fun.] with, who enjoy our annoyance with said person being put into words because for some people, like people i went to school with, my words are funny. also, i haven't deleted her yet because she's still here talking about things with people that we'll still be living near, and i know i'm hopefully moving soon too, but small towns, tough environments.

anyway. i shouldn't have to justify myself when im attacked on my own blog. and after friday i was going to blog about you today. i was going to call it...

why don't you like me?

see, i was reading my old diary a while ago and i wrote a lot about you back then. for instance... "there's a girl in my cinema class who is really funny. she like's black books and is from a small[ish] country[ish] town too. we don't have any other classes together though, so i haven't really hung out with her a whole lot this year, but last week i wanted to go to the astor to see the grind house double so i suggested a bunch of us go. it was fun. i don't think i have ever laughed that much in a film before. i love having friends with the same interests as me. i love my uni friends." or how about this one... "last night i was meant to go to pony and see some noise band thing with brodie and iasha and louis and others i think, but i can't remember. anyway, i was watching black books and 'days of wine and roses' all day and i drank some wine. perhaps a bottle. no more than a bottle. a bit too much wine. anyway, it was pretty early so i thought make some dinner, have a nap, be all fresh for later. etc. anyway, at first the sickness i thought was wine related, but this morning i'm still sick and i can't move without needing to be more sick, or drink water without needing to be sick. anyway, mum came over for a surprise visit and she thinks it's food poisoning, so we threw everything out of my fridge because it's not freezing things properly. anyway, i can't really remember exact details of last night but i know that brodie is a legend because i do remember waking up in bed and realising that i think she put me in a taxi, told the driver my address and gave him some money. she's the best."
then all of a sudden, i'm seeing photo's on facebook [i know, how gen y is that] of events that you've organised with all our friends at uni and i didn't know a thing about it, or someone will say something like "why weren't you at dinner on friday?" and i don't know why because i didn't even know about dinner, and then you do, you did do the exact same thing and invite my boyfriend to something and not me, and when i asked about it you said you must have missed me on facebook and you would invite me and then you still didn't. and it's sad because i still thought we were kind of ok and that was all well and good, believable and maybe it had nothing to do with you and me at all, but when i try and say hi or join a conversation with a bunch of people at uni you instantly walk off and start talking to someone else. do i repulse you?
and it's not new. i suppressed it the first few times, but you have openly embarrassed me in front of my friends, told me off like i was a student and you were my teacher, and you've cut me off mid sentence like i was invisible. i don't appreciate feeling like less than adequate and i'm sorry i can't talk to you in person about this because i can already see the look on your face and the condescending "quirky" way you'd talk down to me and i don't want to deal with that.
and i don't think you're trying to become the boys best friend because, no offense, but he would never. the thing that annoys me about that is that the bragger has in the past, with other boys that i have been into, turned them away from me for one night of looseness at a party. i spent a lot of time in counseling trying to get over issues i have with exclusion, which wasn't helped by the fact that in year 12 a boy called ian invited everyone in our year level, including the bragger, who had never talked to ian until she heard he was having a party and his parents were paying for drinks, but didn't include me, and when i asked him where my invite was [after he gave one to everyone in front of me but not me] and he looked at her, then looked at me, and in front of everyone said "you're not invited". go figure, i still get pissed off about things like this. and it looks like you do too because you weren't included in my blog at all, but look, now you are.

bone to pick

is what i typed into the subject line in order let three thousand know i want to win a copy of super wild horse's album because i love them and i really want it. i was grappling with myself about going to rats to see fearless vampire killers because it has been ages but i hate rats on account of a previous experience which i think i blogged about once, but possibly not. but basically it featured my friend getting mistaken for a trouble maker [he was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time] which resulted in him wrongly being dragged out of a mosh pit by his hair, then picked up in a bear hug and swung away from the crowd, resulting in him need 12 stitches in his head due to it colliding with a wall with brute, bouncer fueled force. and as much as i love fearless vampire killers, i don't think i like them enough to go against my morals and venture out to rats. but i did take that night off work remembering something else was on, and it is, the super wild horses album launch is on, so i will probably go to that.
i have a little song on my mind and if you sing it carly simon style it'll be quite nice to the mind tank.
you're so vain, you probably think this post is about you you're so lame, you probably think this post is about you don't you don't you?
you walk into a party, like you are walking onto a yacht, but i wouldn't really know this cos i wasn't invited to the party. but i heard it from my boy friend, who you don't know at all, but you just think you can txt him, think you can see him but... you're so lame, and he's too smart to even go for it. etc
yes, bragger again. they're moving soon and i think as soon as they're gone i will just delete delete delete so i don't have every little detail of their life popping up every time i log into facebook. i don't see how someone who spends so much time status updating can actually have anything to status update about because they clearly spend all of their time on their computer or phone.
not long now though because i herd they found a place so i won't have to suffer through the odd bump into, and i won't cross paths with said person on account of none of our mutual friends actual liking them either. phew.
i'm just a little sick of us having moved on from high school and still being is high school mode. that was one of the things i was most excited about when i finally graduated, escaping the pettiness. but it's still going on. ridic.
anyway. today i finished my office volunteering position at MIFF. frown. i had such a good two works and when i left every one was shouting out "just let us know when you want a job" and i said "i'd love a job now", so let's see how that goes. working for MIFF would be awesome.
yesterday a camera man came in to film some scenes of L. A. Zombie because it's been banned and obviously copies can't be given out, and he was filming quite a bit, so i watched, and i have to say, edward d. wood would be rolling in his grave over the decision to ban said film. the cult success of films such as wood's Plan 9 From Outer Space and tommy wiseau's The Room, which may not have been purposely terrible but are loved for their shlock value has inspired a whole generation of filmmakers who push the boundaries of taste and quality and make good films we love because of how bad they are. L. A. Zombie is purposely bad, looks incredibly fake and is made for a particular audience. it is an art film, it is not made to be put on at hoyts for a general audience. it is made to be screened at film festival's and enjoyed by crazy people like me. the australian classification board should be banned before they deport marina abramovic for indecent exposure...
anyway. i just saw an ad featuring a weirdly animated image of betty white gyrating awkwardly. i need to go and be sick about the fact that channel nine are allowed to do that.

anniversary, ruined

so, the story goes that after months of adoring and lusting after my friends friend from high school, who you would know as "the boy", we both had tickets to the same MIFF film and no-one to go with, so we went together. that was our first date, awkwardly sitting in the dark at the capitol theatre watching gay german zombies fornicate through any hole available, be it wound or otherwise as otto, the zombie with an identity crisis made his way through the german gay scene, mistaken for a method actor and put into a gay zombie porno, complete with epic zombie orgy with intestines and the likes while a lesbian filmmaker and her silent film actress girlfriend looked on, camera in hand. Otto; or, up with dead people, was a gratuitous kitsch romp, part porn, part comedy, part zombie apocalypse thriller, and all fun. after joining on such solid foundations, the boy and i are still together, 2 years down the track, and while reading this years MIFF program guide and realising that, being the second film of a late night double feature Bruce LaBruce's latest offering, L. A. Zombie, would be screening on our anniversary, we leapt at the opportunity to relive our humble beginnings at 1am on the morning of our 2 year anniversary and bought tickets at 9am the morning they went on sale.
but now it seems the classification board think our penchant for necrophilia and wound penetrating goodness is somehow inappropriate. donald mcdonald you nancy, we are under no illusions about the film, in the program guide under the program title "night shift", this is how L. A. Zombie is described:

The creator of Otto; Or, Up With Dead People (MIFF 08) extends his adventures in cinema's most unmarketable sub-genre - gay zombie porn.

Zombies don’t often come as fully-ripped as porn star François Sagat – except in Bruce LaBruce’s L.A. Zombie. Our anti-hero is convinced he’s an alien zombie sent to earth, where he roams the streets of Los Angeles in search of dead bodies and gay sex – an activity that reveals his ‘special gift’ of shagging the deceased back to life.

Conceived as a more hardcore companion piece to Otto, and featuring minimal dialogue but maximum soundtrack, L.A. Zombie raises the stakes with LaBruce’s infamous ‘schlock’ tactics – promising plenty of wound-shagging and more penises than you can shake a stick at.

Contains scenes that will offend.

with a right up like that you would expect a very select group of people to be purchasing tickets. if i wanted to see something lovey dovey and innocent i would have consulted the Next Gen program, but being the lover of trash and gore that I am, I opt for more alternative film viewing experiences. gory films i have trouble watching include documentaries featuring the mass slaughter of animals, such as food inc. or people such as war doco's and films about events such as the jonestown massacre. real violence that is not glorified or obviously completely fake. zombie violence i am fine with, dramatisations, no matter how visual, fine, but real violence makes me sick. we're a mature, progressive civilisation and we are smart enough as a viewing public to sense the difference between real and imagined, between entertainment and depravity.

Donald McDonald you rat, do you not understand the concept of the film festival as a space of freedom and expression, where films of all genres, sub-genre's, styles, countries and classifications are screened to an audience seeking a higher level of entertainment than the cheap [well expensive, but the value of the films is of an unspeakably low standard] hollywood tripe that rolls through the cinema's week after week to an audience of low level functioning twats and senior citizens, we have come to expect some genital mutilation, corpse violation and nazi zombie apocalypse's.

I am pretty much going to spend all my free time now trying to find the twitter [yes, i am going to go onto twitter for the first time ever] and facebook groups rallying to overturn the ban because it is ruining my perfect, depraved anniversary.

DAMN YOU OFLC!

Bill Bailey

Last night the boy and i went to see bill bailey and it was by far the best comedy show i have been to bar none. more like an epic 2 hour variety night, is there anything this man can't do? he came out in wonderful fashion, introducing himself and then running onto the stage in a furore. i dont really want to say too much because if you ever see him live and he does some of the same jokes it'll be less funny, let's just say that when referring to possible prime minister brown he played james brown, he serenaded us with his oud, introduced us to the tenori-on. i really really want one, and once i have one i will finally create my band and we will tour the world playing tenori-on, keytar, drum pad, ukelele and synth. basically it is an amazing LED pad thing that you simply touch anywhere on the screen and the little lights light up and play a really beautiful song. last night as bill bailey demonstrated, it is an amazing instrument where "you can turn something horrible, into something beautiful" and he proceeded to map out a swastika on the light grid, and it made a really beautiful song. hence the wanting of one. he also got a guy out of the audience to come up and just poke his fingers at it, and it was stunning.
highlights of the show, bill bailey's french pop cover of gary numan's cars, complete with hideously produced film clip featuring bill bailey getting in an out of an old car and driving it around the country side, crazy daft punk esque lighting effects and car horn solo play frantically by the musical genius himself. bill bailey's rap song. after breaking down the meaning of lyrics in popular songs, such as you're classics golden brown for instance, which is said to be about heroin, but which bailey says could just as easily be about the plight of the red squirrel, he moved on to the nonsensical and misogynistic lyrics of pop songs such as akon's lyrics "jump up in my lambourghini galardo" which only hobbit's would have to "jump up" into as they are so low, which is followed by the lyric "perhaps you can bend over" big fat question mark as to what is going on in that song. Bill Bailey then comes out after the interval and puts on some phat beats which he raps too as only bill bailey can, finishing the song with "I'm the dali farmer". classic.
his short film complete with live accompaniment.
his final poem "when you left me, i was alone"... Like clown fish without nemo, like twilight without em. and until you come back, i'm like whitney without crack."
what heartfelt prose.
i won't say too much more because he does have some more shows coming up around town and if you're going i don't want to give you a full run down of jokes and songs because that would spoil the experience.
in other news, uni started back today, woo, i had a cinema screening in kaleide [spelling?] for asian cinema, and as lisa french, australian cinema extraordinaire, is programming the course this year we started off with 4 short films all made in australia either by asian australian's or simply by australian filmmakers relating around asian subjects. i had such high hopes for this course, learning about a different kind of national cinema. the lectures are all by someone different every week so hopefully it won't be too focused on the australian perspective of australian culture and looking out from here, because that's not what i wanted to study. disappointed i wont have the lovely peter kemp for my final year but he is taking one lecture so at least that is something.
at the festival office again today. i ahve filled up my pass and bought more tickets as well, so far i'm seeing:
the myth of the american sleep over
the illusionist
world on a wire
air doll
rubber
chicks (life at the ranch)
symbol
the trotsky
scott pilgirm vs the world
blank city
and the late program at nova screening "too much pussy" and "L. A. Zombie" back to back from 11pm
it is shaping up to be a good festival.

ms

I can't help it, he's just such a babe.